Spousal support is based on many factors.  These are found in Ohio R.C. 3105.18.  They are too numerous to include here, but basically the Court looks at the earning abilities of the parties along with lifestyle issues to determine the amount of spousal support.  Therefore, it is not possible to really say that one party or the other will automatically pay support.  It could also depend on the division of property or how close either is to retirement.  Again, this is an important area for seeking counsel.  In some cases, I have had clients willing to take a lot less but once they understand what they are entitled to, they end up getting an award that makes it worth having consulted with an attorney.

The Court is always free to adopt an order that the parties agree to, and usually prefers to do so unless there is some clear evidence that the "agreement" is being coerced or due to one party's lack of understanding of the consequences.  If the amount of child support is different than in the guidelines, then a deviation is done, and it has to be supported by findings of fact and conclusions of law.  Does this sound complicated?  Not for an attorney, which is, again, why it is good to consult with an attorney.  Spousal support can also have tax consequences for both parties, so analyzing this can be somewhat complicated.  However, just know that after all of the dust has settled, it is possible to agree on a different amount.

An experienced divorce lawyer will be able to help you sort through this.  Yes, often when a client comes to me for a divorce, we are dealing with a single household with two incomes that is struggling.  Splitting this into two households is likely to make things worse.  However, spousal support and child support are not decided in a vacuum. 

The Court is not likely to award you money to pay for things that were not already part of that child's life, but if your child is currently enrolled in private school and you can convince the court that it is in the child's best interests to stay at that school, you may be able to have the Court award an upward deviation to cover that expense.  You can also do this by agreement.  On the other hand, if you are the one paying and you are also paying for extracurricular activities and medical expenses, you may be able to have the Court award you a downward deviation by taking all of these things into account.  There are many other reasons for upward or downward deviations, these are just some examples.  Again, an experienced divorce lawyer can help you figure out if this works for your situation.